To Be Or Not to Be What Was the Question?
by LadyLoveless
Summary: Two very strange girls stow away on the Merry Go after the crew stops at a dark island. They fight alot and are annoying as heck, but fun to be around. How will the crew cope when things take an unexpected turn? EDITING in future
1. Prologue

**To Be or Not to Be...What Was the Question?**

**A One Piece fic by Lady and the Pyress**

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**Prologue**

**Quote of the day-**

**"If you walk through a town,**

**people will stare at you.**

**You may look normal but you'll still be looked at.**

**The world is a judging place.**

**The world is a hateful place.**

**No one cares at all..."**

**-Unknown-**

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I'm falling...

There's no other way to explain it...

I feel like I'm floating and falling...

Is that even possible?

It's dark here, and I don't know where I am...

What happened to me?...

Where am I?...

Ferocious curling waves crashed furiously against the black sanded beach, trying to pull its victim back into the water's cold, unloving embrace. A battered and drenched girl lies gravely on the soft black sand, looking for all the world like a gothic corpse. Her skin was ashen, her lips were blue from the cold, and her thick disheveled black hair was blowing in the icy wind. The girl twitched slightly as she felt the icy drops stinging against her pale face. She let out a loud moan that was drowned out by the wind then sat up slowly. Rubbing her eyes a little, she tried to gather her wits and open her eyes.

She was afraid to.

Eventually she opened her eyes, wary of the wind, and looked around in wide eyed amazement. At first all she could see was the black sand and thunderous waves on her left. She let out a small cry and leapt away from the waves that were hovering ominously above her. She ran to her right, trying to get as far away as possible from the water. She yelped suddenly when her black boot connected with grass, sending her toppling unceremoniously onto the cold, wet ground. She groaned again and sat up, rubbing her gloved hand over a bump on the back of her head. She looked around again, noting that she was now in what looked like an overgrown tropical ghost town. There were very few old wooden buildings still standing, most had caved in or had been burnt down. She got up and wandered through the eerie little place and into the first rather stable building she could find. It was unexpectedly warm inside the little building, but the most unexpected thing was the beautiful black haired woman sleeping beside a fire.

It's been three years since Calandra wound up on the seemingly deserted island and met Pyra. She still has no idea where she is or how she got there, but she doesn't mind so much. While the island may look frightening with its black beach, and tall dark rainforest, it was really very beautiful in its own majestic, Tim Burton kind of way. Calandra and Pyra have spent the three years getting to know each other and are practically joined-at-the-hip sisters.


	2. The Glassy Black Lake

**To Be or Not to Be...What Was the Question?**

**A One Piece fic by Lady and the Pyress**

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**Chapter One- The Glassy Black Lake**

**Quote of the day-**

**"Your stupidity and ignorance make me want to strangle you. Burn and die Bitch!"**

**-Pyra-**

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"You're an idiot Calandra. Didn't I tell you not to eat the funny looking fruits?" "Can it, Pyra! They all look funny to me, OK!" "Whatever. Since you ate the Chan Chan fruit, you can't go swimming in the ocean anymore. Wade all you want, but don't go in past your head! Got it?" "Fine, I got it! Just let go o' me 'ead will yah!" Pyra grinned wickedly. Calandra gulped, knowing instantly what was coming.. "NOOGIE TIME, TWERP!" Pyra whooped energetically, causing the giant birds that inhabited the island to take off. Calandra shrieked as Pyra continued the assault on her hard little head. "Leggo, leggo, leggo!" she shrieked, frantically trying to escape the older girls grasp. Suddenly the small girl's frame twisted, and contorted, and a black adder fell to the forest floor.

Pyra blinked. The snake looked up at her...and laughed? "COOL! I have no bones!" Pyra sweat-dropped, "Snakes do have bones you idiot! It's sharks that don't have any" "Nu-uh!" "Yeah-huh! Want me to prove it?" The snake gulped, replying meekly, "Not particularly…" Pyra grinned maliciously, her left arm slowly turning silver and forming a sharp blade as a fire ball formed in her other hand. "Your pick my little Calandra. Would you like to be stabbed, cooked for supper, or would you like to turn back?" Calandra the snake whipped her head around. "NONE OF THE ABOVE! YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she turned around and started to slither quickly away, that is, until Pyra stepped on her tail. "Just because I don't have any bones doesn't mean you can step on meeee!" A vein popped out of Pyra's forehead. "SNAKES DO HAVE BONES YOU IDIOT!"

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"HEEEEEEEEYYYY! DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT! I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A TOWN ON THIS ISLAND! And Nami wanted to go to the big island a mile from here! THIS PLACE IS COOOOOOLLLL!" Zolo, Nami, Usopp, and Sanji all sighed. Zolo ran a hand through his seaweed colored hair tiredly. "Luffy, we didn't hear anything..." Nami cut him off, "Save it Zolo, he ran off already." "WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THAT?" Zolo roared. Usopp and Sanji just laughed. Zolo jumped over the side of the Merry Go, and chased after their ridiculously naïve captain. Sanji sighed, "Nami, Usopp, yous guys watch the ship. I'm gonna help Zolo."

'_There's got to be a town around here somewhere! I can smell meat!' _Luffy thought ecstatically. "WOW! I'M HUNGRY!" He shouted, causing what giant black birds were left to fly off. He just grinned, mind solely focused on finding a town and possibly eating some meat. Suddenly he burst into a large clearing with a crystal blue lake in the center of it. "OH WOW! A GIANT POOL! WAHAHOO" Luffy let out his trademark laugh, grabbed his hat, jumped hiiiiiiigh into the air, and belly-flopped into the lake. "Wait a minute! I CAN'T SWIM!"

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Pyra let out a loud, barking laugh as she and Calandra watched the idiotic black-haired boy belly-flop painfully into the small body of fresh water. Calandra, now back to her human self, was doubled over with tears of laughter streaming down her pale face. She stopped and straightened up suddenly. "Wait a tick, did he just say he couldn't swim?" Pyra grinned, "'Course he did, he's an idiot. I wanna see how an idiot drowns!" Calandra gave Pyra a stern look. "Now Pyra, as much as I like to see people in pain and dying..." "No you don't! That's my job!" Calandra rolled her eyes. "I know, I was being sarcastic...loser.." "What was that frizz-ball!" "DON'T BRING MY UNMANAGABLE HAIR INTO THIS!" "I ALREADY DID!" "SCREW YOU!" "SCREW YOU TOO!"

Calandra glared at Pyra before running towards the lake. Pyra's eyes widened. "Wait! You can't swim either!" "WELL IF I CAN TURN INTO ANIMALS, SHOULDN'T THAT INCLUDE AQUATIC LIFE!" "WHAT'S AQUATIC MEAN?" "GOD, YOU'RE LIKE TALKIN' TO A BAG OF BRICKS!" "DAMM STRAIGHT!"

As Calandra came close to the edge of the lake she jumped into the air and transformed into a dolphin. She landed perfectly into the lake with a relatively loud 'SPLASH!' She scanned the water for the idiotic boy and spotted him about 15ft. below her. She swam downwards quickly, hoping he hadn't died yet.

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"Let 'im die, let 'im die." Pyra chanted under her breath, shaking her fists slightly. "Idiotic boys that come onto my island deserve to perish!" Zolo leaned up casually against the tree next to Pyra. "Your island, eh?" "DAMM STRAIGHT, my island!...Wait a minute..." she whipped her head around with an alarmingly loud 'CRACK'((we assume her to have gotten whiplash in the process)) to look at Zolo. He merely raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his lips. Pyra gave a look that clearly stated _"I will set you ablaze right now!" _Zolo merely raised his other eyebrow. "What? Cat got your tongue? Pity, you seemed SO talkative a moment ago." Pyra's glare deepened, her hate for the stranger rising steadily faster. Zolo shrugged. "Whatever, lady. You seen a kid with a straw hat come tearing by? Probably yelling something about meat?"

The raven haired girl shrugged, suddenly grinning maliciously. "I'd check over dere, Arty." She said waving her hand vaguely. Zolo's eyes narrowed angrily. "What... did you...do?" he growled out through clenched teeth. Pyra gave him an innocent look. "Why, Arty, ah'm shocked! How could ya accuse me of doing somethin', when my very dearest oh' friends is in dat dere lake looking for him righ' now! I believe the real question is, 'What am ah doin' standin' here like an idiot while my friend's drowning?'" Zolo twitched noticeably. "That so? Well, why aren't_ you_ in the lake too?" Pyra shrugged, nonchalantly. "My dear artichoke head, Ah can't swim."

Unnoticed by the two bickering teens the surface of the dark, eerie lake was being disturbed. Large ripples cascaded across the once-glassy surface, waves beginning to form and crash along the reedy bank...


	3. Whoa Nessie!

**To Be, or Not to Be...What Was the Question?**

**A One Piece fic by Princess and the Pyress**

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**Chapter Two-Whoa Nessie!**

**Quote of the day- **

**"You have some problems with run-on sentences.-Also you tend to get a little wordy."**

**--Super T, Princess's history teacher in a comment about her family tree project--**

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**Lady**-...Asshole...

_Pyress-_ He can stick that comment up his a! (**Chibi Pyress shoves comment up teacher's bum and sets it on fire) **MUHAHAHAHA!

**Lady-(sweatdrop)**

_Pyress-_ (**looks at audience)** Hey, what's a mentally insane pyress for? (**tries to smile innocently... fails Smirks then laughs evily again)** MUHAHAHAHA!

**Lady**- (**Mega sweatdrop)** Anyways...

_Pyress-_ I mean come on, we write fanfics here!

**Lady**-Seriously, I mean they always complain about kids not writing enough or writing three word sentences! My sentences aren't run-ons...they're just very...very long.

_Pyress_- We're smatter than ½ the teachers anyway! Anyone who complains about our writtin' can burn!

**Lady**- Flamers...BEWARE!

_Pyress_- shut up 'box ghost' (**Chases after Lady)** BURN BOX GHOST!

**Lady**- ACK! My too-many-times-dyed hair! It's highly flammable! Sanji darling, do the disclaimer while I ruuuunnn! (**Pyress catching up)** AHHHHHH!

Sanji- (**yawns)** Huh, what? Did someone call me?

_Zolo_- Nah, go back to sleep crap-cook.

_Pyress_-(**high pitched girly squeal)** ARTICHOKE HEAD! (**MEGA GLOMP!)**

**Lady-** Well...DISCLAIMER! Me and Pyress don't own One Piece or any of its sexy characters, otherwise all the characters would be acting like this! ...And the characters would look deformed... On with the show!

_Pyress_- It's a fanfic you idiot! (**Continues smothering Zolo with kisses)**

**Remember folks, fluffiness and cheesiness are the keys to a good fanfics!**

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_Recap- Unnoticed by the two bickering teens the surface of the dark, eerie lake was being disturbed. Large ripples cascaded across the once-glassy surface of the lake, waves beginning to form and crash along it's reedy bank..._

Calandra swam frantically towards the drowning boy, hoping with all her heart that she could make it in time. The water was getting darker by the second the deeper they went, and keeping the boy in focus was proving to be quite a challenge. Finally she was close enough to grab him, and snatching the boy from the back of his vest with her snout, tried to swim back to the surface. As it turned out they were down fairly deep and Calandra's small dolphin form was no where near strong enough to swim herself and the boy back up to the surface. She needed to be a bigger, stronger creature in order to get back to the surface. She thought a moment, just floating there in the eerie lake, before one particular thought caught her interest. _'..I miss the lake back home...All those cool...monster sightings..gasp! Duh, I'll turn into...'_

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"Well, still, you should be helping too!" "YOU IDIOT! I JUST TOLD YOU I CAN'T FUCKING SWIM, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING! God, Artichoke head, you're like talking to Calandra when she's had some of her kiddy crack!" Zolo snorted. "Kitty crack?" Pyra rolled her eyes. "Kiddy, not kitty, you dumbass. It's some kind of weird candy of hers." Suddenly a massive wave of black water bowled Pyra over, sending her reeling right into Zolo's strong arms! She coughed loudly, stream radiating of her body. _'I knew she was hot, but this is ridiculous!' _Zolo's eyes widened. _'Where the hell did that thought come from?' _

Pyra looked up at him, her face a mixture of disgust, pain, and confusion. She shoved him away, yelling, "Get the heck off o' me! Whaddya think ya doin'!" Zolo glared at her. "What are you talking about? You're the one that fell on me!" "No I didn't," she replied, "somethin' hit me!" She froze for a moment. "Wait a sec, something hit me! Whatever it is, it will pay!" She whirled around angrily, took one look at what was left of the lake before exclaiming, "WHOA, Nessie!"

"I've been livin' on this god forsaken spit o' land fer who knows how long, and I ain't never seen that before! Calandra, please tell that ain't you!" Before the creature could react Zolo had sped off towards it, noticing his captain dangling lifelessly from one of its massive teeth. The creature was a terribly frightening thing, with a massive grey-green body, slanted black eyes on the side of its head, and a large snout with equally large, gleaming teeth to match. Just seeing the thing made him nearly wet himself, but seeing his captain dangling from one of its colossal teeth virtually gave him a heart attack! So, Zolo being Zolo, he rushed off towards the creature withought another thought, pulling his cursed sword from its sheath as he went.

Pyra's eyes widened slightly. Panicking, a fire ball formed in her right hand and, after taking careful aim, she threw it at the ground by Zolo's feet. Zolo, not expecting the attack, stumbled and fell flat on his face. Pyra chuckled faintly before shouting to him, "Don't attack her, artichoke head, that's my friend!" Zolo sat up, spitting out some sand, before gasping out, "You're friends with a lake monster? You must really be desperate for friends!" Pyra shook her head, "No, no! She ate a devil fruit, the Chan Chan fruit! So in other words, Calandra can change shapes!"

The 'monster' growled deeply before taking a flipper and stepping out of the lake and onto the shore. After it was fully out of the water a small grunt was heard and there stood Calandra in all her human glory, Luffy draped across her back. Her face was barely visible from under Luffy's hat, but if you looked close enough you could just make out a wide smirk.

Zolo rushed over to Luffy, pulling him off Calandra and backing away quickly. Pyra raised an eyebrow (wow, they do that a lot in here! Lol!) and walked over to Zolo and Luffy. "So," Calandra started casually, "the black haired idiot belongs to you then, Artichoke head?" Pyra laughed while Zolo just glared at her. "My name isn't 'artichoke head' it's Zolo. Get it right." "Whatever you say, Artichoke Head." Pyra said, grinning triumphantly. Zolo growled and turned away from the annoying pair, wanting to get away from them and back to their ship as soon as possible. Unfortunately they followed. He just didn't know it...


	4. Stowaways

**To Be, or Not to Be...What Was the Question?**

**A One Piece fic by Lady and the Pyress**

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**Chapter Four-Stowaways**

**Quote of the day- **

**"Oh, and can't tolerate stupidity..."**

**--Super H, Pyress' 8th grade Social Studies teacher--**

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**Lady**-...If you can't tolerate stupidity, does that mean you can't tolerate yourself either?

_Pyress-_ Damm straight...Wait a sec, what did you say!

**Lady-** **(smirks and chuckles evilly)** Nothin'

_Pyress- _I beg to differ...Spit it out 'fore I burn you at the state like a bitch...err...witch. smirks

**Lady-** Yeah. yeah. You know you lurve me! I was just pokin' fun anyways. 'Sides, if you wanna know what I said, just go back and read it!

_Pyress-_ Whateva! We been talkin' long enough, let's get on with the fic!

**This is the last frickin' time we're doing a disclaimer in here. Obviously, if we owned One Piece this would be an actual episode/manga and we wouldn't be putting it on here! So if you haven't gotten it into your little heads yet, there is obviously a screw loose, or you were attacked by a brain sucker! The only things in here we own are Pyra, Calandra, and what we've written! Steal them and we will come after you!**

**Also, sorry the chapters are somewhat short and kind of messed up looking. It all looked better in the Word Program on my computer. 0o How annoying!**

**Remember folks, fluffiness and cheesiness are the keys to a good fanfics!**

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_Recap- Zolo growled and turned away from the annoying pair, wanting to get away from them and back to the ship as soon as possible. Unfortunately they followed. He just didn't know it yet..._

Nami sighed as she looked down at their passed out captain. She brushed a particularly stubborn black lock off his face again, as she had done many times in the past hour. He was too pale for her liking and she was worried he would either get sick or never wake up again. Why she was this worried about her hardheaded captain she couldn't understand. She sighed again before standing up and making her way out of the dimly lit medical bay. Chopper looked over at her worriedly. She had been acting strange lately; not her usual hard-assed, stingy self at all. Nami gave him a small smile and walked out, telling him to come get everyone immediately when, or if, Luffy woke up.

Everyone else was on deck as Nami had expected. Usopp was sitting on the railing of the upper deck working on some new kind of stink bomb for his slingshot. Sanji was relaxing in one of the lounge chairs; his purple shirt half open, cigarette dangling precariously from the corner of his mouth. Zolo was, of course, no where to be found. Sanji opened one eye lazily when he heard the petite navigator climb up the stairs from the inner part of the ship. Nami frowned at the lazy cook and stormed over to him. Sanji saw the upcoming danger and leapt lithely to his feet. "Nami my lovely flower how are you this fine evening?" he asked her calmly.

Nami glared at his lame attempt to flatter her. "How can you all act like nothing's happened? Luffy still hasn't woken up yet and here you two are lying around! Just where is Zolo anyway! He.." Sanji stopped her mid-rant. "Nami, my temperamental flower, what are yous so worried about? We've had worse things happen to us. I doubt a near drowning is enough to keep Luffy down. Stop all that worrying 'cuz it's over nothing. Now, I'm going to go make a light lunch. We're running low on supplies so I don't know how much we'll have for dinner." Nami sighed. "Sorry for snapping at you Sanji, I don't know what's come over me. We'll stop over at Fair Island for supplies. We should be there in about twenty minutes."

Sanji gave her a lopsided grin. "That's good. Now what would yous like for lunch, my darling?" Nami just shook her head tiredly. "Just cook whatever it is we have left." She turned and walked drunkenly towards Sanji's recently vacated lounge chair before plopping down onto it and closing her eyes. Sanji stared at her a moment before shrugging and walking down the stairs she'd come up from only a minute ago. His hands were in his pockets and he had to stoop down slightly as he went down the stairs. _'Well, at least the ladies love tall men.'_ 'He grinned impishly at the thought and continued on his journey to the store room in search of food.

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"Pyra, move your friggin' foot!...GAH! That does _NOT_ belong there!" Calandra hissed angrily, trying her best to be quiet. Pyra gave her a smirk before kicking her friend in the shin. Calandra glared at her companion, her green cat-like eyes glinting in the dark. She gave a loud 'humph' before shifting her body away from Pyra, the girl's body heat becoming rather unbearable. The black cat ears at the top of Calandra's head twitched lightly as the sound of heavy footsteps made itself apparent.

"Someone's coming," she hissed, "most likely to this room. We just _HAD_ to hide in the store room, didn't we?" she muttered darkly. Pyra just swatted at her head and said, "Hush," in a low tone. Only a second later the door of the room creaked open, light spilling from the hallway into the once dark room. Heavily clad feet thundered against the wooden planks, the sound echoing throughout the now still room.

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Sanji yawned loudly as he scanned the store room for whatever food they had left. _'Let's see what we've got. Pickled radishes, pickles, wilted lettuce... Where is that dried beef and smoked fish we had? They should be in a couple of crates.' _He scanned the small dark room for the crates he was thinking of. Sanji grinned with satisfaction upon finding said crates and in four long strides he was standing in front of our poor heroines hiding place.

Calandra paled slightly when her twitching ears heard the person stop in front of their hiding spot. Pyra turned towards her, her eye twitching slightly. She glared at her terrified cat-hybrid friend and mouthed 'I hate you.'

Sanji looked through the top crate, noting sadly that there was nothing in it. _'Luffy probably got to it,'_ he thought angrily before kicking the crate off to the right. He started to turn back toward the stack of crates when a few rather nasty insults were thrown his way. The stream of inappropriate words continued on for a few seconds before slowing to a rather loud "OW!" Sanji's eyes took an unusual steely glint at the thought of stowaways. "Alright you, whoever it is show yourself." When he received no reply he decided to investigate.

He bent down to dig through the next crate when something unusual caught his eye. Sticking up from behind the crate was what appeared to be a rather large set of furry cat ears. He reached towards the ears slowly then poked one. It twitched rapidly then settled. He repeated the process once more, grinning like a kid at Christmas. Finally he decided to get to the bottom of the mystery and kicked away the small stack of crates.

Wide green eyes looked up at him in shock. A petite girl was crouched like a cat, black ears twitching and a long tail swishing behind her. She cocked her head to the side as Sanji studied the strange looking cat/human hybrid. From what he could make out in the dim room she was wearing; green and black stripped stockings with many rips and runs, thick black buckled boots up to her knees, frayed black shorts, and a dark green peasant shirt with a short black leather vest. Wild black curls framed her tanned face, her thick hair just past her slender shoulders.

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Calandra stared up at the man in utter bliss. Sure, she was pissed they, or rather she, had gotten caught, but this man was a GOD! He was tall and well built, yet still lanky looking. Straight blond hair fell over one blue-green eye casually, just brushing against his nose. Black pants covered his long legs and a half open purple pinstripe shirt exposed a well built chest. She blushed slightly then tilted her head to the other side. She looked up and grinned. "Chu!" she greeted.

Sanji had to laugh when she made the cutesy little noise. He crouched down so he was eye level with her. "What's a cute lil' thing like you doing stowing away on our ship?" he asked amusedly. She grinned at him. "Well." she began, setting a finger on her chin thoughtfully. "My friend and I were sick of being stranded on this godforsaken little spit of land, so when that rude man didn't offer us a lift we decided to hitch a ride to civilization." She smiled then settled cross-legged on the floor. "Well, hopefully civilization." She added hopefully.

Sanji laughed at her explanation. "So, where's this friend of yours?" She looked over at the door Pyra had just snuck out of. "Going up the stairs." She pointed towards the door. Pyra turned and glared at her companion. "Damm you, Calandra! Ya weren't supposed ta snitch on me!" Calandra laughed. "Well he seems nice enough. I don't see why you're trying to sneak away." Pyra just continued glaring. "'Specially when pretty much our entire crews on deck." Sanji added. The girl promptly turned around and started banging her head against the doorframe. Calandra burst out laughing. "Aww, don't pout Pyra!" The girl turned to glare at her again. "I'm not pouting, I'm pissed! I can't believe you!" "You can't believe me? What'd I do?"

"Well first off, you drag me off my nice dark island that I've lived on for years. Next you drag me onto this ship and get yourself caught, then you tell that guy where I was so now I've gotten caught!" she ranted. Calandra stood up, glaring at her. "Don't you start that now! I may have dragged you off the island but you were always saying how you wished we could be somewhere else, eating food aside from fruit and other plants because you don't eat fish. Also, we only got caught because you started cussing your head off! He wouldn't have found us if you were quiet!" "He saw your cat ears you stupid little freak! He wouldn't have found us if he hadn't seen them!" "Don't call ME a freak you HYPOCRITE! He would have found us anyway because you couldn't keep your mouth shut! "

Sanji shifted his head, watching the girls fight. The girl in the doorway, Pyra, was standing with her fists clenched and eyes blazing. The hybrid girl, Calandra, had jumped to her feet and was in a similar position. Her tail was twitching back and forth rapidly and her ears were pressed flat against her head. "Pyra, I may look like a freak right now but this freak heard him," she pointed to Sanji, "coming in here so we wouldn't get caught." Calandra said heatedly. Pyra snorted. "And yet you still managed to get us caught. Way to go FREAK!" she stated coolly. Tears welled up in Calandra's eyes. "Why are you trying to blame everything on me? You didn't help the situation by yelling! If you hadn't he wouldn't have noticed us!" Pyra laughed coldly. "Yes he would have. He would have seen your ugly ass ears over the crates anyways. Why'd you make them so big anyway stupid?"

Calandra stomped her foot. "That's it! I'm not speaking to you until you learn some common sense! You are such a bitch!" Pyra smirked. "I know I am. I'm glad you won't talk to me anymore. Maybe now I can have some piece and quiet…What are you staring at asshole?" she turned to glare at the gaping Sanji. He waved his arms. "Oh nothing!"

A weird glint flashed in Pyra's eyes. "Why'd you come down here? Why don't you tell us." She asked coolly. Calandra turned her head to look at him. "Yeah, why did you?" Sanji stood up again and rubbed the back of his head. "I'm the ship's cook. I came to get some food to make lunch. Speaking of, I need to get back on deck. My Nami chan is probably wondering what's taking so long." He walked over to a crate and picked it up with ease. "Since you two are here, make yourselves useful; Pyra, grab that sack of potatoes by the door, and Calandra grab that crate behind you." Pyra glared at him. "Why should I listen to you, Blondie?" she snapped. Sanji turned to look at her. "Because otherwise me and my pals will throw yous two overboard and yous can swim to the nearest island."

Pyra looked off to the side. "I hate water..." she grumbled. She looked back at him. "Alright, you've got yourself a deal. For now." She grabbed the sack by the door and started to head up the stairs. Calandra sighed and grabbed the crate behind her, following after Sanji who had gone up before Pyra.

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Both Pyra and Calandra hissed when they stepped into the sunlight. Five heads turned simultaneously towards them. "Heya Sanji! Wondered why you hadn't come back up yet!" Luffy gave him a goofy grin. Sanji smirked. "Good to see you up and about Luffy." He drawled. The captain tilted his head to the left. "Who're your new friends Sanji?" "That's what I was wondering." Zolo growled, hand the hilt of Yubashiri.

Pyra grinned when she saw Zolo's swords. "0o0o0o, sharp pointy objects!" she cooed, dropping the bag and walking over to Zolo. She crouched down and poked one of the swords. "0o0o, pointy object." She whispered, poking it again. Poke. Poke. Poke. Zolo's eye twitched as everyone else held their breath. Calandra rolled her eyes. "And you're always saying I need to act my age. Grow up Pyra." She sneered. Pyra didn't even glance at her. Calandra huffed.

Zolo glared down at the girl poking his sword. "Knock it off woman." He snapped. She just sniggered and poked his sword again. "I said knock it off!" he hissed. Again she ignored him. He took a step back from her and in one swift movement pulled Yubashiri out of it's sheath and held it against her neck. But before he could say anything a large crate hit him in the back of the head. Then the girl he'd had his sword to pulled out two daggers and kicked him over onto his back. She straddled him and held her daggers to his neck. She leaned close to his face, her hair falling over them like a curtain. "Don't threaten me with your sharp pointy object. I've got some of my own." She hissed, red eyes flashing dangerously.

'_Hmm, a woman that can take care of herself against me. This might be interesting.'_ Zolo thought coldly.


	5. Kitty Kitty Sea Cow

To Be, or Not to Be...What Was the Question?

A One Piece fic by Lady and the Pyress

**Chapter Five- **Kitty Kitty Sea Cow

**Quote of the day**- "Hey Brea, if you hung a zombie would it die or would it stay 'alive' and just wriggle around until it's head popped so the body would fall down then stand up and search for its head but it's not smart enough to find it cuz it's above him…..(Brea, "0o;)"

Lady talking to her new friend after seeing his 'Zombie Repellant' shirt

**Lady**- is blue in the face. takes a deep breath

_Pyress-_ Dam…I had so hoped you run out of breath, die, and turn into a zombie so I could try hangin' ya…

**Lady-** smirks and chuckles evilly You shall never be rid of me!

_Pyress- _Oh man! I'm stuck with you forever? random male voice echoing forever…and ever…and ever

**Lady-** Shut up Luffy!! Wait, what're you doing here?

_Pyress-_ Whateva! I dun care, 'long as sea-weed head ain't here!

**Zolo-** sneaks up behind Pyra Boo! Pyra shrieks and jumps into his arms

**All-laughing insanely**

**Zolo-** grins Did I scare you?

_Pyress-_ Who me? jumps out of arms In your dreams sea-weed head! I was only practicing my role in another fanfic.

**_Luffy- _**Really??

**Lady-**Oh brother!slaps hand over eyes I'm starting this now while Pyra tries in vain to defend her reputation as being fearless

**Remember folks, fluffiness and cheesiness are the keys to a good fanfic!**

_Recap- 'Hmm, a woman that can take care of herself against me. This might be interesting.'_ Zolo thought coldly.

Zolo shifted his weight and rolled Pyra over so he was on top. He pinned her arms above her head and gripped her wrist tightly, causing her to drop her dagger. Pyra shrieked indignantly and struggled to get the man off her. He gave her a dark, seductive smirk that stunned her momentarily and her attempts to get him off ceased. His smirk winded as he leaned down towards her and whispered in her ear, "Now who has got the upper hand Princess."

Sanji snorted slightly at the scene before clearing his throat. "Well 'den, how's about 'dem introductions?" Pyra huffed and pried her hands free from Zolo's grip then proceeded to shove him off. "Get off me you great lump of sea-weed colored hair!" Zolo landed with a loud thud next to the lithe girl. She pushed herself up then brushed imaginary dust from her clothes. "Ugh! Man cooties!" She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust. "Oh, and my name is…none of your business. Cat woman over there," she jerked her thumb at her companion, "is Calandra."

The crew turned to study the other girl. Sanji was surprised to see that the cat hybrid no longer had her catty traits but looked comple…well normal enough. She had smallish human ears with a multitude of piercings; one connecting to her nose. She stared innocently at Sanji with a set of soft green eyes. Pyra coughed. "Well, scratch the cat part. For now." She added scathingly. Calandra smirked. "My, oh so very, lovable companions name is Pyra." She set the crate down with a loud sigh of relief and rubbed her shoulders. Pyra glared, shouting, "Dam you woman!" "Can it Pyra! I'm tired and I don't feel like dealing with your crappy 'tude in front of people we don't know; whose ship we stowed away on." She spat back at her.

Pyra swiftly turned around and walked over to the side of the ship. She then proceeded to bang her head against said railing. She stopped after a second, peering over the railing curiously then turning back to everyone. "Can I jump overboard and save myself from this needless insanity?" she paused, "Wait, never mind. There's water…When we get to the next port can I jump overboard?" "Only if I don't throw you over board first." Calandra growled darkly.

Luffy let out a booming laugh. "Wow! I like you two! You remind me of Zolo and Sanji! Want to join my crew?" she asked, grinning madly. Both of them stared at him like he was nuts. "Are you off your rocker kid? You don't even know us, and likewise!" Calandra cried. Luffy just laughed again. "I'm Luffy, cap'in of the Merry Go! My crew mates are; Zolo my first mate and swordsman, Nami the navigator, Sanji the cook, Usopp the engineer and strategist, and Chopper the doctor." He waggled his eyebrows at the girls. "Now you know us! Now do you want to join my crew?" "NO!" both of them cried. "I just want to get away from water!" Pyra said, scowling fiercely. "I just want new clothes that fit and to find a way to get home." Calandra replied, looking down at her outfit.

Luffy pouted as Nami laughed. "Luffy, you can't go asking everyone to join your crew. For all you know they could be thieves!" "Umm…we're right here." Pyra grouched. She was ignored. Zolo let out a booming laugh. "So says the queen of thieves." he mocked. Nami gave him a look of indignation. "That.does. she ground out.

Calandra cleared her throat. "Umm…As warm and loving as this gathering is," she trailed off as her stomach complained loudly, "mind if we eat?" Pyra roared with laughter. "It looks like someone's been neglecting her stomach!" Pyra smirked, until her own stomach growled even louder then her friend's. "Yeah…I'm just going to shut up now." She muttered. Everyone sniggered. Sanji grinned charmingly and draped an arm around Calandra's shoulders, turning her towards the stairs. "Come 'dis way my precious flower and let Sanji fix that noisy stomach for you." Calandra chuckled. "Ooo, Prince Charming to rescue the damsel in distress, eh?" she joked, shoving him gently. Sanji gave her a boyish grin before leading her up the stairs to the galley.

"Casanova strikes again." Zolo muttered. Usopp and Luffy sniggered while Nami glared at Sanji's back. "He is such a flirt. Great…so the infamous womanizer turns into a pedophile." She grumbled and crossed her arms, leaning back against the railing. Pyra looked at all the crew members before turning to Nami and busting out laughing. "Pedophile, eh? I think Calandra may be a lil' older then your flag pole of a friend is."

Zolo raised a brow. "Flag pole?" he questioned, bemused. Pyra smirked. "Take a guess at how old she is; come on, I dare ya!" The crew started shouting out guesses ranging from 13-16. Pyra laughed hysterically when she heard them. "You're all wrong! She may be tiny, but she's nineteen!" She chuckled again. Usopp fell off the upper deck railing and landed on his schnozzle. He looked up at Pyra, nose bleeding, and asked, "Are you kidding me!" Similar cries of astonishment and protest came from the others. Pyra just grinned impishly. "Now guess how old I am." Ages around Calandra's and up were shouted at her from all sides. "Actually, I'm sixteen." Everyone looked mildly surprised.

Nami shook her head. "Jeeze, that's so weird. Let's get off the subject. We're about a half hour from the port of Soufflé. I hear they're having a confection contest there. They have one every year to draw in tourists and boost their economy. Heard the prize was somewhere around twenty thousand berries and a free meal at some expensive bistro for an entire crew, if the winner's part of one. I'm pretty sure Sanji will enter. I can't wait till we get there!" she stretched her arms above her head, still talking to the crew, not noticing the sly smirk spreading across Pyra's face.

Calandra cocked her head to the side as she watched Sanji from her comfortable spot on the table. She began swinging her legs back and forth, kicking the table softly, a smile splaying across her face as she studied Sanji's grade-A ass. Oh yeah, she was bored. Her head shot back into it's upright position as an idea suddenly came to her. "I'm gonna sing the doom song!" she said in a cute squeaky voice. "Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doooooom! Da doomy doomy doom! Doom doooom!!!!" Sanji turned and gave her an odd look over his shoulder. "Interesting song you have there. Where'd you learn it?"

Calandra gave him a wicked grin. "I learned it on my home planet, Omicron Persei VIII; home of the rabid green penguins that hunt the ever elusive dancing pickles." Sanji stared at her blankly. "Did I miss something?" he joked. "Yes, I'm clinically insane. Didn't I mention that?" she joked back. "And that's supposed to mean?" Sanji looked at her imploringly. "I'm hungry, bored, and tired. To cure my hunger I shalla steala your food, to cure my boredom I shall make random statements to piss people off and amuse myself in my cleverness. As for my tiredness, well, I don't believe they've found a true cure for insomnia yet." She beamed up at him. Sanji laughed loudly before he went back to his cooking. Soon the room was filled with an assortment of wonderful smells.

"Hey Sanji?" Calandra questioned. "Yes my little angel?" he replied teasingly. "How old are you?" "Nineteen. Why do you ask?" "I'm just a curious little kitty." She purred. Sanji chuckled slightly as he pilled food onto eight plates. He grabbed four and walked over to the table, setting the plates down at the other end of the table. He walked back over to Calandra's end of the table and stopped in front of her. He placed his hands on the table close to her hips and leaned towards her. "Curiosity killed the little kitty." He whispered in her ear. "Or perhaps the little kitty kitty wrapped its tail around too many bad things." Calandra whispered back

Sanji pulled away, grinning enchantingly. "Well then, the little kitty needs to be careful of what she gets herself into." Calandra's eyes were glinting mischievously. "I think the little kitty, that's not such a little kitty, can figure out who or what not to get involved with or in." she teased, yet pulling off the statement with a somewhat serious expression and an air of refinement. Sanji grinned again before moving away and gathering the other four plates and setting them on the table too. He then strode towards the door, Calandra watching his long strides with interest, and called down to the crew on deck, "All right, come get your grub!"

_A few minutes earlier..._

Zolo smirked, giving Pyra a wicked look. "So, how come you suddenly decided not to jump overboard? Scared?" Pyra glared. "As if I'd be afraid of a lil' water! Puh-lease artichoke head; I'm not a spineless coward like you." "Me, a spineless coward? Least I'm not a ugly sea cow." Pyra's eye twitched and a vein was throbbing noticeably on her neck. "Sea…..COOOOW!" she roared. Zolo laughed, "You even 'mooooo' like one!" he mimicked her before he doubled over laughing, slapping his knee.

"Oh dear…." Nami sighed a minute later as they watched Pyra throw various sharp pointy objects at Zolo, while Zolo kept trying to run her through. Finally he got close enough and grabbed her around the middle, throwing his weight into her, and sent them both toppling on to the deck. They were still yelling at each other, although much quieter then before, between gasping breathes. "I…FUCKING…HATE…YOU!!!" Pyra screeched. "YEAH? WELL… SAME….TO…YOU…. By this time both Luffy and Usopp had toppled onto the deck themselves, having been leaning against each other for support. Both their legs had given out when they broke into howling laughter.


End file.
